Networking events are harder than meetings. In a meeting you know why you're there, what the agenda is, and roughly what's expected. At a networking event, the structure is deliberately loose — the implicit task is to make useful connections within an hour, with strangers, in a room full of noise and competing conversations.
For non-native English speakers, this is a disproportionate challenge. The conversational register required — warm, curious, appropriately direct, comfortable with transitions — involves specific conventions that are rarely explicitly taught. Most people who do this well learned it through years of exposure. Here's a more direct route.
What Networking Is Actually For
Networking events are often framed as opportunities to exchange business cards and "build your network." They're more accurately understood as opportunities to identify whether there's a reason to know a specific person — and to create enough of a positive impression that they'll remember you when that reason emerges.
Most connections made at networking events come to nothing, and that's fine. The ones that are useful tend to have two things in common: the conversation covered enough real ground that both parties have a genuine sense of each other, and at least one party followed up specifically enough that the other person remembered who they were.
This means the goal at any networking event is not to speak to as many people as possible. It's to have two or three real conversations.
The Opening
Approaching someone you don't know is the most uncomfortable moment in any networking context. The discomfort is linguistic only partly — mostly it's about initiating connection with a stranger under social observation. Native speakers feel it too.
The openings that work in English networking contexts are low-pressure and contextual:
- Situational: "Have you been to this event before?" / "Are you staying for the full day?"
- Shared context: "How do you know [the organiser]?" / "What brought you to this one?"
- Direct introduction: "I don't think we've met — I'm [name]."
The last option works well in British and international professional contexts, where a simple direct introduction is entirely unremarkable. A handshake, your name, and your organisation is a complete and acceptable opening.
What doesn't work: elaborate, visibly prepared openers. The other person will sense the rehearsal.
What also doesn't work: opening with your job title or company in a sales-pitch tone. "Hi, I'm [name] from [company], we do [X] for [Y]..." signals that you're there to sell, not to meet people. Even if you are there to sell, this opening makes it harder.
Moving Toward Substance
The purpose of the conversation is not small talk — it's finding out whether there's a genuine reason to know this person. Getting from pleasantries to substance is a specific conversational move, and it's worth knowing how to make it.
The questions that open substance:
"What's your focus at the moment?" — open enough to go anywhere, specific enough to move past weather.
"What brings you to this one?" — signals interest in their motivation, opens a more substantive answer than "what do you do."
"What are you working on?" — works well in startup, innovation, and professional service contexts; gives the person latitude to answer at whatever level of depth they choose.
These questions are invitations, not interrogations. They open a door; the other person decides how far to walk through it. If they give a short answer, follow with something specific from it: "What sort of investors are you looking at?" / "How long have you been building this?" — specificity signals that you're actually listening.
The Reciprocity Balance
Networking conversations that work have a rhythm of exchange. You ask, they answer, you offer something — a brief observation about yourself, a connection to what they said, a question that follows from their answer. You don't ask for five minutes straight without offering anything. You don't talk for five minutes without asking anything.
The signal of genuine interest is the follow-up question — a specific response to what someone has actually said, not the next item on an internal agenda. "You mentioned you're expanding into Southeast Asia — how are you thinking about the regulatory side?" signals you were listening. Generic follow-ups don't.
Equally: offer enough about yourself that the other person has something to connect to. Not a monologue — a brief hook. "I work mostly with founders on the English side of investor communication — it's a surprisingly specific problem." This gives the other person something to respond to, which is often more interesting than another question.
Remembering Names
English networking convention expects name use. This is more prominent in American than British contexts, but broadly applicable.
If you missed the name on introduction: "I'm sorry — I didn't catch your name." Immediately on introduction is the right moment. Not five minutes later.
If you've forgotten it mid-conversation: "Forgive me — your name again?" Said naturally, without excessive apology, this is unremarkable. Most people are relieved that you're asking rather than guessing.
Repeating the name once when you first hear it helps retention: "Good to meet you, [Name]." Using it once more naturally before you part cements it further.
Exiting Conversations
The exit from a networking conversation is where most people stall. There's an awkward mutual recognition that neither party knows how to end this, and the conversation trails off. The English convention for moving on is direct but warm:
"It's been really good talking to you — I'm going to keep circulating, but I'd like to stay in touch. Are you on LinkedIn?"
Or: "Let me grab your card before we part ways — I'd like to follow up on [specific thing you discussed]."
The reference to a specific thing is the signal that distinguishes a real exit from a polite brush-off. "I'll follow up on the [specific topic]" tells the other person you were present in the conversation. Most people will remember you better for it.
The exit is a service to both of you. The person you're talking to wants to circulate too. A clean, warm exit is significantly better than a conversation that trails off into mutual awkwardness.
Following Up
The connection made in the room is worth almost nothing without follow-up. The English convention for LinkedIn or email after a networking event:
Brief, specific, no obligation:
"Good to meet you at [event] yesterday. The conversation about [specific topic] was genuinely interesting. I've connected with you here — let me know if there's ever a useful overlap."
This signals three things: you were present in the conversation (the specific topic), you're maintaining connection without demanding anything, and you're open to something useful coming of it without pressure. It is almost always accepted and usually reciprocated.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I approach someone who's in a group conversation?
Wait for a natural pause in the group conversation and make eye contact with one person at the edge of the group, signalling that you'd like to join. Most groups at networking events will open up. If they're clearly in a private conversation, don't interrupt — wait for it to break naturally.
What if I can't think of anything to say?
Ask about them. People consistently find that the person who asks good questions and listens attentively is a good conversationalist — often more so than someone who talks a lot. "What's been keeping you busy lately?" is a complete networking opener that requires nothing of you until you've heard their answer.
How do I handle someone who clearly wants to sell to me immediately?
You don't have to stay. A polite exit: "Thanks for telling me about this — I should keep circulating, but I'll look it up." Then move on. Networking events are full of people who need to be given permission to stop the pitch.
Is it okay to talk about problems or challenges, or should networking conversations stay positive?
Real conversations include real challenges. If someone asks about your business, an honest "we're working through [challenge] at the moment" is more interesting than a rehearsed positive update. People connect with authenticity. The convention is to stay constructive — talking about challenges, not complaining about the world.
If any of this resonates, I run weekly sessions with founders and senior professionals on exactly this kind of thing. Free 10 minute fit call to see if it's a fit. Book here.