Salary negotiation is the conversation most people avoid entirely. For non-native English speakers, the avoidance is even stronger — the combination of financial stakes, cultural discomfort, and the challenge of performing persuasively in a second language makes it feel safer not to try.
The cost of that avoidance compounds over years. If you consistently accept the first number offered, you leave significant money on the table — not once, but every cycle. And the language required to negotiate is not sophisticated. It's specific, but not complex. This post gives you that language.
Why Non-Native Speakers Under-Negotiate
Several things work together to produce under-negotiation:
Cultural norms around directness. In many professional cultures, explicitly stating what you want — especially in financial terms — is considered inappropriate or presumptuous. In English-language professional contexts, particularly in the UK, US, and international business, it is expected. Failing to advocate for yourself does not read as modesty; it reads as a lack of confidence in your own value.
Fear of the relationship. The most common worry is that negotiating will damage the relationship with the employer or create a bad impression before you've started. In practice, hiring managers expect negotiation. A candidate who accepts the first offer without discussion is slightly unusual; a candidate who advocates for themselves professionally is normal.
Not knowing the language for it. This is the most solvable problem. Most people under-negotiate not because they don't want to negotiate, but because they don't know how to start without it feeling awkward or aggressive. The right language makes the conversation feel collaborative rather than adversarial.
The Sequence of a Salary Conversation
Salary conversations have a typical sequence. Knowing it in advance reduces the chance of being caught unprepared at any stage.
| Stage | What happens | Your language |
|---|---|---|
| Initial question | "What are your salary expectations?" | State a number or range confidently |
| Offer made | They give you a number | Acknowledge, don't accept immediately |
| Your response | You make your counter | Frame it in terms of value and market |
| Their response | They push back or move | Acknowledge, consider total package |
| Close | Agreement reached | Confirm clearly and in writing |
The most common mistake happens at the second stage: accepting immediately. The offer is the opening of the negotiation, not the conclusion of it. Taking a beat before accepting is normal and expected.
Responding to "What Are Your Salary Expectations?"
This question is asked early in many processes to filter candidates and set reference points. You are not obliged to name a number before you have full information about the role. Useful responses:
When you want to defer until you know more: "I'd want to understand the full scope of the role before naming a number. Can we return to that once I have a clearer picture of what's involved?"
When you want to give a range without anchoring low: "Based on my experience and the market for this kind of role, I'm looking at [X to Y]. I'm open to discussing that in the context of the full package."
When asked directly and you have a number: "[X]. That reflects [specific relevant factor — years of experience, market rate, scope of role]. I'm happy to discuss it."
Name the number confidently and add a brief rationale. Don't apologise for it, cushion it excessively, or immediately offer flexibility.
Making a Counter-Offer
When you receive an offer and want to negotiate, the structure is: acknowledge the offer, state your counter, give a reason.
The language:
"Thank you for the offer — I'm genuinely excited about this role. I was hoping we could get to [X]. The reason I'm asking is [one specific, factual rationale]. Is there flexibility there?"
The rationale matters. It shifts the conversation from "I want more money" to "here is why this number reflects my value." Strong rationales:
- "My current package is [Y], so I'd need to see a meaningful step up to make the move."
- "Based on my research into the market for this kind of role, [X] is more in line with what's typical."
- "Given the scope of what you've described — particularly [specific element] — I think [X] reflects what I'd be bringing."
Weak rationales: personal financial needs ("my rent has gone up"), tenure alone ("I've been in this field for ten years"), or vague ambition ("I feel I'm worth more").
Handling Common Responses
"That's above our budget."
Don't immediately concede. First, understand whether this is a hard constraint or an opening position.
"I understand there may be budget limits. Can you help me understand what the ceiling looks like? I'd like to find something that works for both of us."
If the ceiling is genuinely below your number:
"I appreciate the transparency. If the base isn't moveable, is there flexibility in other parts of the package — equity, bonus, review timeline, starting leave?"
"What you've asked for is higher than what anyone else at this level earns."
This is an anchoring tactic. Respond to it directly:
"I'd expect that to be the case if I'm bringing something additional to what's typical at this level. That's actually why I think the number I've named is appropriate — let me be specific about what I mean."
"We were hoping you'd be flexible on this."
"I'm definitely open to discussing the full package. I named [X] because [rationale], and I want to make sure we can find something that reflects that. What can you offer to help close the gap?"
Total Package Conversations
Salary is one number in a total package. When the base isn't moving, it's worth understanding what else is on the table.
The components worth discussing:
- Bonus: target and maximum, and whether there's a sign-on to compensate for anything left behind
- Equity: options, vesting schedule, current estimated value
- Benefits: pension contribution, private health, parental leave terms
- Leave: baseline and whether there's flexibility
- Flexibility: remote working terms, hours expectations
- Review timing: if the base is lower than you'd like, agree a specific timeline for the first review
"I'd like to understand the full package before we settle on the base. Can you walk me through what else is included?"
This gives you more to work with and signals that you're thinking about the whole picture, not just the number.
Negotiating a Raise with Your Current Employer
Everything above applies to new roles. Negotiating with your current employer has one additional element: you need to name the conversation before you have it.
"I'd like to find some time to talk about my compensation. When would work for you this week?"
Don't wait for a review cycle if you have a clear case. Reviews are often budgeted in advance; the time to advocate is before that happens.
In the conversation itself:
- Lead with what you've achieved, specifically: "In the last year, I've [specific outcomes]."
- Make the ask directly: "I'd like to discuss moving to [X]."
- Have the market context ready: "Based on what I'm seeing in the market for this kind of role, [X] is where I'd expect to be."
If the answer is no, ask what would make yes possible:
"I understand that may not be possible right now. Can you help me understand what would need to be true for us to revisit this in six months?"
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I've already told them my current salary and it's lower than what I want?
You can name a different target number. "My current salary is X — I want to be transparent about that. What I'm looking for in a move is Y, because [rationale]." The fact that you earn X now is information; it doesn't cap what you can ask for. If you've grown significantly, changed roles, or are making a market-based case, the gap is explainable.
Is it appropriate to negotiate as a contractor or consultant, not just as an employee?
Absolutely — and it's often easier. Contractors are expected to negotiate rates and terms at every renewal. The same structure applies: rationale, specific number, openness to discuss the full picture (rate, volume of work, terms). If you haven't been negotiating at renewals, you have been leaving money on the table.
I made the counter, they said no, and now it feels awkward. What do I do?
Accept gracefully and move on. "I understand — I appreciate you hearing me out. I'm still very much interested and excited about the role." A professional negotiation that doesn't succeed doesn't damage the relationship unless you let it. The awkwardness is in your head more than in theirs.
How do I handle the conversation when there are multiple decision-makers and I'm not sure who has authority?
Ask: "Who's involved in making the final decision on this?" This prevents you from negotiating hard with someone who can't actually move on the number. Get to the decision-maker before the substantive conversation.
If any of this resonates, I run weekly sessions with founders and senior professionals on exactly this kind of thing. Free 10 minute fit call to see if it's a fit. Book here.